Saturday, May 22, 2010

A CRUSH, BLUSH & NAUGHTY NURSE?



OMG  would have to be that isn't it, without a doubt however young or 'old' you are, and no matter whom you seem to have a crush on, whether it is the rough looking homeless guy, the man from next door, or the local newsreader.....you ALWAYS bump into them when you are:-

Smelling of tsatsiki (Greek dip made with lots of garlic and yogurt, and more garlic!!!)

Buying tampons.

Just popping to the shop and you haven't looked in a mirror since dawn, and it's 9.45 pm and you are desperate for wine, before the shop closes........

Tucking into a spinach pie, and you daren't open your mouth, let alone smile, in fear of the green dangly bits that are now lining your teeth enamel.

OR all of the above......


Well, there is no harm in 'looking', I was always brought up to believe in that!!!  The problem is the blushing and then the stupid things that just tumble out of your mouth......

Like mmmmm, yes, it's been a bad day (you have the huge bottle of Ampelia wine infront of you), but it's been really good...........uhhhh???  Helloooo........and that's even before you've had a drink!!!

Or you stand there answering "you're fine", when your nose is streaming, eyes are red raw, and you are struggling to breathe ....

YOU then proceed to knock everything over (the kids or the dog aren't even around to blame), with your over sized handbag.

By then your kids are ringing you, wondering why mummy is taking so long.....your phone is blurting out some kind of tune you don't even recognise, (they've changed it again), and of course you don't even realise it is yours and have no chance of even knowing who sings it....!!!
"Aren't you gonna answer that then"?.....

"Ummmm, oh, ummmmm, hold on.....wait a minute, where is it"?.....By this time, ALL the contents of your bag have been emptied and spread out onto the counter, for everyone to see.....and it's stopped ringing!!!

Contents of by bag usually:-
sweet wrappers, chewing gum wrapped up in paper (not mine), lipsticks without the tops on that are usually coated in something.....pens that don't work, loose change, cards from every supermarket on the planet, camera, magazine, receipts, a banana that has seen better days, and, and, and..........
Not only are you blushing, flushing, crushing.....gushing....whatever, you are for sure WISHING that the ground will just swallow you up, or at least that there could be a power cut !!!

So, it's a really good job you have that bottle of wine to look forward to when you finally make it home. 

That's if you remember to actually pick it up in the plastic bag, which already has split because it's soo bloody heavy!!!

 AND then if you didn't walk out the shop forgetting to pay, and  having to be called back, knowing your purse is somewhere in that Mary Poppins bag of yours........after all you had it out before, when you were trying to find your phone, and then the keys a few moments a go.........!!!

They are quite happy to say "pay me tomorrow" by this time, as you go to tip out your handbag again!!!

Meanwhile all you're thinking is thank god it's a screw top.....who cares  if it's not chilled!!!

......................................................................................................................................................................

I HEART The Anna Summers status updates on Facebook, and the outrageous questions they ask (the answers of course are even funnier!!!).....

Where do you hide your sex toys???   -
One lady wrote....
I don't, they make lovely bedside table decorations......(.haha....yes i can just see Jessica Rabbit now.....and the cleaning lady giving them a good dust!!!)


So next week I'm going to be busy with this Fist Aid Course, the only reason my husband is allowing me to do it, is because I said I would practise on him 'after', so better go and buy some band-aids......although, I'm thinking he was thinking  more along the lines of a Naughty Nurse outfit......and bandages.  BUT, then I might really have to resuscitate him!!!  (Not by any means i would look good in it, it's just a man thing isn't it???)
If only a could find a McDreamy mask.....you can buy wigs though!!!


So that's it from me, have a great weekend......

Lots of Love

Tracey XXX

P.S.  We can get a discount if we order the wigs in bulk.......???!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment